The value of not communicating: hide-and-seek play

Abstract

This paper intends to put in relief the value of not communicating, as well as the importance of the dialectic “being alone”/”be with” as we see in hide-and-seek play. Winnicott suggested that many adolescents don’t like psychoanalysts: they get irritated with the threat of invasion of their private space, and prefer a secret diary. It’s strange how nowadays we observe a passion of adolescents of a fast and uninterrupted connectivity, with little opportunity for pauses, silence, and a secret space. How can we understand this apparent contradiction? Can we consider that the incessant and compulsive communication mode that prevails in our culture resembles the maniac defence in which a false self is always seeking restless and ascendants movements, without opportunity for landing and falls, thus avoiding the experience of depression and also of living creatively and dreaming? Is there still a place in today’s world for a Salinger or a Proust?